Tonight, two weeks in advance of everyone else, 2008 ended for us.
How far we came in this year. Whatever happens, we’ll never move so far again.
If I could do that year all over, here’s what I’d change:
I would kiss you more. The chances were there, that I did not take. And I could have created some chances more. So many times I could have kissed you, but didn’t. And now the year is at an end.
I would have given you beautiful things. I didn’t have a whole year. I only started in October. Then, those earrings. Tonight, that necklace.
Once, we talked about gift-giving, and I mentioned jewellery, and you told me how D could never get it – how did I put it? That a woman could never have enough beautiful stuff.
From that moment on I vowed to give you only beautiful stuff, as often as could be. I know you were happy with the earrings. I knew how happy you would be with the necklace.
One day soon, probably next year, in about June or so, you’ll go. You’ll move on forever. You won’t be here any more.
We are not lovers. We can never be lovers. I knew that all along. Nevertheless, as I type these words, I am almost doubled over with weeping. I’ll calm down in order to go on typing, but it won’t go away.
I want you to have some beautiful stuff to take with you, so that I can stay with you, in some way. Yes, I know you’ll never forget me. I know what happens to the people we “never forget”.
Given the feeble nature of memory, I reckon beautiful stuff is more reliable. And you look more beautiful wearing it.
